So ends what has been effectively the worst day of my 20.5 years.

Today I had to say goodbye to Adam for five months. I won't see him until Christmas, when I will see him for around a month before I go back to San Francisco until June. I don't know how I'm going to cope without him...I know I managed it before we were together, but now that I'm head over heels in love with the guy it's hard to imagine even one month without seeing him, let alone five. Even a few hours feels like forever.

Yesterday marked us being together 8 months. I've seen him nearly every day since then. I just don't know how I will manage not seeing him, not waking up next to him in the morning, not cuddling up with him at night, not messing about on the X-Box, not playing with the rats...nothing. Watching him walk off into the rain crying nearly broke my heart, or my mind, or whatever bit of me it is that controls how I feel about him. After a four hour journey I'm back in the bosom of the family, as it were. I would do anything to be back in Norwich with Adam.

Suzanne - I'm sorry I didn't see you today. I wouldn't have cancelled but I really didn't think I could cope with another goodbye after that. I hope you're not annoyed with me...I just didn't want to cry any more :(